I understand the struggle, you know the one: Innocent nice words taken for flirting, while when you ACTUALLY try to flirt they take it as you being nice. Umm? đ Knowing how to flirt with a guy, or how to flirt with a guy over text, whether it is when you already met, or in a long-distance, or youâre in a relationship, is not about the âkiss me, baby, oh yes, oh yesâ. Weâll go through texts as flirting examples, weâll get disappointed, sure, but weâll learn. Keep in mind though, this is not just about pleasing some stranger, and going out of our ways to do it. If thatâs what you expected, then Iâm sorry. Thatâs not exactly what youâll find here.
Should you consider anything before you get into this flirting & texting thingy?
To have a better understanding of how to flirt with a guy over text, we gotta consider some stuff first: Donât force things. If it doesnât happen naturally, and you find yourself getting stressed about it, itâs forced. Let it flow, let it be enjoyable for both, let it feel natural â If you like him, and he likes you back, it will be so. To do that, you donât force words and/or behavior. This is for both sides. You donât try to force yourself to say something, nor try to âmanipulateâ him to say something that he normally and originally wouldnât say. Think that eventually, youâll meet up with him. This is just a little reminder. In case you want to see him, try to think of this every now and then when youâre sending something you wouldnât normally say, or if youâre sending something too âoutâ. Authenticity is the way to go. Absolutely yes. A little âgameâ here and there, a little âplayâ here and there is perfect as long as theyâre things youâd really say, and feel comfortable coming, or to say it better, going from your side to his receiving end. Flirting is not some fixed science, nor a fixed script for everyone to follow. That means you can add your own flavors, your own ways to it. You can be flexible with the tips and âtricksâ(I donât like to call them tricks, really). If you donât really feel comfortable making it sexual, donât do it. If you feel like youâre going out of yourself, then you might just be missing a point when it comes to flirting. Itâs meant to be enjoyable, not a burden. Feel free to be flexible with it. 13 must-know signs heâs flirting with you â Hereâs how to tell if a guy is flirting with you! Eeeh, how do you flirt with a guy over the phone?
1. Start the text & the flirt, duh?
If you havenât started texting yet, please do text him first. Let go of the stigma, and start mingling for f*ckâs sake! Perhaps heâs waiting for your text. Now, when you start the text, you donât want to come on too strong. If you donât really have anything to tell him, or talk about, donât start the conversation at all: Wait for him instead. I want you to avoid the boring and generic openers, Iâd like you to take it easy, and keep in mind that a simple âHiâ is not going to level up your flirting game, seriously! So, how do you actually start flirting over text? Small talk? Not a brilliant idea. Here are some flirty texts for him â useful examples: âHello, beautiful stranger! Itâs Nara, from the coffeeshop.â âYour profile picture is not doing any justice, youâre way more handsome in person! This is Nara by the way.â Take with youJust because you started the conversation first, or started the flirting first, it doesnât mean you always have to be the one initiating. No no no. Thatâs not the point of flirting. If he texts you everyday, itâs cool for you to initiate too sometimes. It should be reciprocated.
2. If you wouldnât say it in real life, donât say it through text either
My point? Donât pretend to be someone youâre not. Fck my advice, or anyoneâs advice, or examples and whatever. If you donât feel like the texts youâre sending represent you, donât send them. To make it more simple, more understandable: If you wouldnât say it in person, donât say it through text either. Youâll meet up at some point, right? You can genuinely tell if he likes you through text. Whatever âgameâ you practice, eventually, itâll wear out, and eventually, EVENTUALLY you wonât have a persona to play or act out. Youâll have yourself left, and the realsies will kick in. Youâll confuse the sht out of him. Letâs not do that, shall we? Take with youEMBRACE WHATEVER YOU PRESENT! OWN IT, BE IT.
3. Easy peasy, lemon less obviously sexual
There are plenty of seductive text messages for him, they can be direct and indirect. I canât stress this enough, but we donât want to overdo it, we donât wanna get out ourselves and make it vulgar. If we want to understand how to flirt sexually over text, we want to first, embrace ourselves, and what weâre comfortable with. We want to send a few flirty texts, you know the ones for him to turn him on, give hints, play a little this a little that. Some of those flirty texts that lead to the sexual convo are good to send at night, since you know⊠you know the deal. Here are some examples (some of which are pretty appropriate if youâre looking for seductive text messages for him long distance): Letâs say itâs night, and you want to initiate something âI wonder, how would you spend your time with me at this moment?â âYour lips look so soft, it makes me wonderâŠâ he asks, what or some other generic question requiring an explanation, you can go with âIf you use lip balm, or theyâre just natural like that.â Letâs say youâve got a new tattoo, and he asks whereâd you get it. You can respond with something like: âIâll let you find it, next time we meet up ;)â Take with youHell, if direct is your way to go, then donât hold yourself; If âsexualâ is not your way to go, then donât push yourself.
4. Intrigue him
If you want to know how to flirt over text, you want to know a bit about exaggeration too. Iâm the one exaggerating right now, actually. You want to intrigue him, you want to show excitement. Forget the exaggeration. No, seriously, forget the exaggeration! Letâs start this again: How do you flirt with a guy over text? Expand his imagination by an intriguing text that gets his curiosity going wild. Of course, if thatâs your type, donât let this slip in any case. What is something flirty to text a guy, something thatâs intriguing yet not exaggerated?Iâll make my point: âYouâre gonna be surprised when you find out what you did in my head today!â âGuess the crazy thing I did today.â âI heard this song and I think it represents you, itâs your song.â Take with youDonât get too dramatic about things you normally wouldnât get dramatic about, chill.
5. Nicknames might just be handy
Handsome? Mister? Handsome guy? Mr. Perfect? Feel free to feel the vibe heâs giving you, and give it a nickname. Perhaps not something offensive, but anything that feels natural to you. Feel absolutely free to drop this if it doesnât feel natural to you. Seriously! You donât have to go out of your way to please someone you probably donât even know. But, if youâd enjoy it, and youâd think heâd enjoy it too (based on what youâve seen from him), then knock yourself out: âHowâs the handsome doing today?â âOkay, mr. Perfect, weâll figure something out.â âOh I see, mr. Scientist , I seeâŠâ Take with youDonât do it if itâs not your thing. Itâll be obvious that itâs forced, and itâll be a turnoff.
6. Give hints that you like him
Giving hints that you like him means reciprocating on the conversation, really! It means complimenting him on something, asking him interesting questions, making him blush a little, showing him a little appreciation, you know. Showing interest is part of flirting. You donât want to go all crazy now and shower him with all the compliments or interesting questions you can possibly think of. Be a little playful, be a little push and pull, show him just enough interest. Give him just enough hints that you like him. Here, examples to feed on: âYellow is your color, change my mind!â âYou seem interesting, and Iâm curious: Whatâs your all-time favorite song?â Take with youHell, even tell him that you like him if you do. Thereâs nothing wrong with that either.
7. Keep the mystery going: Honey, you donât want to text all day long. You have a life, donât you?
I told you that texting him first is a good idea, but Iâm also telling you that you donât want to be kissing his a*s. What I mean by that is that you want to mind your business too, do what you gotta do, and donât sacrifice anything just to reply to him as soon as possible. Do what you have to do, avoid long texts that give off too much information. Itâs about getting rid of that need to make him like you, or to impress him. Set yourself free from that âneedâ or âwantâ. Iâll give you some flirty texts for him examples: âOh, Iâve done some crazy things today. How about your day, handsome?â âI think I overdid with reading today, haha. And your day?â Take with you The guy is carrying the conversation, and it doesnât seem fair. You want to be mysterious, not cold, not not responsive, and not not engaging. Being that is not exactly the point of flirting.
8. âInnocentlyâ make him think dirty
Donât give all youâve got just yet, let him want more. But a bit of initiation doesnât hurt either of you doesnât it? This one is about taking advantage of those little moments, through which you can create room for his imagination to go beyond clothes and stuff. Itâs about the moments where youâre indirect and you can seem completely âinnocentâ but itâs slightly obvious. Thatâs the tension, and the flirting part of the flirting. You can use your flirty texts for him at night or at daytime, itâs fine. He wonât help but think about the âbeyond clothesâ anyway. Hereâs how you do it: Randomly, text him: âYouâve got no idea what youâve been doing in my mind today!â Letâs say he asks you what you want to do later next time you see him, your reply: âLetâs have some fun.â âI donât know if I should be feeling guilty about something I thought of you today.â And when he asks, tell him anything but sexual stuff. Take with youYou can be direct if you want to, if thatâs what you wish, and if that would represent your personality. Though try to find a balance, overdoing is usually not the way to go. You can tell when heâs not interested through text, so I believe that wonât be a big of a deal.
9. Not my personal favorite, but you can use emojis
I donât want to write about this. F*ck you Chris! You can get your flirty text messages to get cute with emojis. But for godâs sake donât overdo them! Men in general arenât into emojis. The emojis can give off immature-ish vibes, or child-ish vibes. Keep that in mind, next time youâre sending the 5th laughing emoji. So, what is an actual cute way to flirt with a guy? Is to be who you are, and not use too much of the emojis. Gosh! But fine, the winky face one is not bad, or the kissy face, or a heart maybe? Before this gets out of hand, I better show you: âThank god you make lame jokes sometimes đ€Ł â âIâm down, if youâre down đâ Take with youIf youâre an emoji girl, knock yourself out. At the end of the day, if he isnât an emoji fella, but he really likes talking to you, heâll stick around. And if not⊠neeeext!
10. Tease him a little, but donât overdo itÂ
When he sends a typo or something, you can pull his leg a little and enjoy. Teasing leads to potential inside jokes, and good flirting of course, and inside jokes lead to a stronger connection. Like a team⊠great⊠A very important part of the flirt, is knowing how to tease a guy, in this case, weâre doing that over text. What that means is, we need to be more careful. Why? Because he cannot see your facial expressions, nor hear the tone of your voice changing. Hence? Hence the room for misunderstandings is larger. Iâll let you have a better understanding of what Iâm talking about: Letâs say he said âfayâ instead of âdayâ (a typo): âOh I sure did have a fonderful fay. How afout you handsome fuy?â âIs there any possible way for you to not connect everything with science? Because if there is, I wonât talk to you anymoreâ âThank god you make lame jokes sometimes!â Take with youCareful not to touch sensitive spots that could potentially hurt him. Avoid teasing him on things like family, or status. Or anything about him you donât know much about, because you might just hit him in a weak spot.21 Body language signs shown by science he is attracted to you
11. Double text, double donât
Watch out for the rhetorics!!! Aaaaa! OVERTEXTING IS A BAD IDEA! Girl, you want to give him room to flirt back. He needs breathing, let him. Flirting is all about back and forth, giving and receiving signals, joy, pleasure and stuff. Iâd suggest you avoid double texting. Youâve got things you can do, if you donât find something. Seriously, he canât be the only interesting thing going on in your life. Do you hear that? Origami, drawing a giraffe with crayons, cleaning, reading, movie-ing, dancing⊠The list goes on, and itâs full of things you can do without texting him. Take with youNot double texting, doesnât mean you donât have to engage in the conversation. On the contrary, engage in the conversation, avoid super dull, short answers.
12. His imagination, oh his imagination!
How do I flirt with a guy over text? Intrigue his imagination. Itâs good to do in person too. But, through text, itâs a different story. A better story, if you will. Pay attention to what he tells you, and use that. Weâre not into some mean, evil business, though it strangely sounds like we are. Weâre just presenting them the idea of them hanging out with us, but not directly⊠at all⊠well, sort of. We want him to imagine what itâs like to be in our presence, all the fun we can have together. Intrigue his imagination: âImagine we got drunk together! A disaster without a warning to the poor citizens, perhaps?â âIf Iâd be there, Iâd show you what fun is!â âYouâve got no idea what Iâm capable of doing in the presence of another crazy one. And you, you sir, would be the perfect other crazy one!â Take with youIf you donât like the indirect way of doing things, you can absolutely ask him out, and just cut the bs, and get straight to the point.
13. His name, say it like itâs Jesusâ name
You do you, and you just add his name to the text youâre about to send. Not in every text though. Understanding how to flirt with guys over text, takes a bit more understanding on what they like too. And Iâll tell you this, they like it when we say their names. Unless we over do it, and make them hate their names, and the fact that theyâre spending time with us. Eeeh, letâs not overthink this. Iâll compare some texts, and youâll get my point: âCome on Ben, think of something better :Pâ vs âCome on, think of something better :Pâ âBen, youâre deadly handsome in yellow, how dare you!â vs âYouâre deadly handsome in yellow, how dare you!â âThis song reminded me of you, Ben.â vs âThis song reminded me of you.â Take with youIf you hate his name, but like him a lot. Find a nickname, or donât say his name at all. Really, flirting could be done without this one too.
14. Joke, woman!
Now itâs the part that we look for flirty texts to make him laugh. If youâre naturally funny, and youâre not forcing your âfunninessâ, then please, go ahead and use it. You can send gifs, memes, make jokes, or even tease him in a joking way. Making him laugh is a positive thing. Flirting needs laughter too, you know, besides the tension and the sexual tension⊠Example tiiiiiime: âA simple hello can lead to infinite possibilities⊠Like butt touches.â âHow dare you be so funningly unfunny :Pâ âListen sir, that made me automatically like you more. How dare you?â Take with youIf he doesnât laugh at your jokes, or doesnât show signs that heâs enjoying it, take it as a sign to stop the joking, memes, or gifs. If he doesnât reciprocate, thereâs a chance heâs not into this. Signs he secretly likes you but is hiding it â Why is he hiding it?
15. Pictures, sure!
Logic and emotions, find a balance between those, important. Your emotions are so into feely goody vibey and you just want to send him a good, lovely, sexy picture of you, and then your logic takes over saying âB*tch, you donât even know this guy, you might regret this later!â. Well, what do we do? We do a bit of a balance between these two: your logic isnât that wrong, you might regret this later, but hey you might also not regret this. See the vibe with the guy, and please SELECT, be selective of the picture/s you choose to send him. In this case Snapchat could be more helpful. But now comes the other question: How to flirt with a guy over Snapchat? Well, you do exactly what I told you above, except you send him pictures too, not just of yourself, but things and activities youâre doing. Of course, if you feel like it. The good thing about this app, in my opinion, is that it lets you know when someone is taking a screenshot of what you sent, but also you get to decide how long they get to see the picture youâre sending. You can keep sending your flirt messages on whatsapp, if you feel that other platforms arenât suitable for you. Take with youDONâT send a picture if you donât feel safe doing so! DONâT send a picture if you feel heâs putting pressure on you to do so. You DONâT have to please anyone.
When to slow down or even stop the flirting and/or texting?
Thereâs a reason youâre wanting to know more about how to flirt with a guy on the phone, or over text. Part of learning how to do that is also knowing when to stop doing that. You want to slow it down, or stop it entirely: When he doesnât reciprocate Thereâs no point in continuing to try to flirt if he doesnât reciprocate. As a matter of fact, it shouldnât even seem like âtryingâ. You know. Flirting takes at least two to be practiced, so if he doesnât bother much about it, why should you? When youâre overdoing things If youâre not in a relationship already, you might want to cool it down a little. Especially when it comes to sexting. Let it flow naturally, donât overdo anything for the sake of getting his attention, or for the sake of making him like you, or for the sake of pleasing him in order to impress him. When youâre not feeling it. When it feels forced, and like youâre carrying the entire conversation yourself End the conversation when you have to, donât go out of your way, honestly! If youâre not feeling the flirting, or the texting, a goodbye text will do the work. Especially if itâs been a long time since you havenât been enjoying this exchange of texts, cut it off. When you constantly find yourself being the first to text him Itâs part of the unreciprocated communication. If he is interested heâll initiate every now and then. I believe you get my point already, but I just put it there, at least as a reminder.
To make it less complicatedâŠ
Whatever you present, feel, and are, take that and own it. If you feel comfortable doing this, do it, please; And if you donât, fck the magazines, fck every advice youâve read, donât do it. Youâve got this, I know. Yours, Callisto